Almost a month. Shit. But let's not chalk it up to blissful peace as the reason why. It never rains it pours as the saying goes. Well it's been freaking monsoon season up in here...No good deed goes unpunished. Seriously! The worst part of trying to improve oneself is the unending beat down that life gives you. And even when you fall down, it just keeps going until you learn good and well that it will never stop until you are miserable and broken. To anyone out there feeling the same way, I'm sorry. It is so discouraging to feel everything pulling you back as you try to move forward. But even then, we keep moving forward...hopefully...and if we do, the resistance becomes increasing. When I accomplish something that I had to push through and fight with all my might to get to, I am so proud of myself and think, "There is hope for a damned soul such as I" It feels almost immediately after that there is a force of nature that comes and destroys that confidence and laughs in my face. If Karma exists, it is extremely biased and changes its mind more than a politician. On a separate note, I just want to say that this blog has really made me feel better. In my mind, I imagine maybe one or two people who take solace in my writing and feel like there is someone who relates to them and makes them better. Perhaps the only viewers of this page just come for a good laugh at the stupid person. But suffice it to say, I don't care. I will keep imagining the way I want to. Because I would like to think that I am not so crazy as to be the last of my species. So if you do enjoy reading. I apologize for my negligence and I promise I will write more. May your day be better than mine.
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What I've always wanted to say
AuthorD.A. Crane. |